Practical MIDI

There was a time in my musical career when I’d have proudly stood up on stage and sung my lungs out with my version of Herman’s Hermits version of “I’m Henry VIII, I Am” and then waited for the teen adulation to come pouring up from the crowd at me feet. Of course, I would have been fifteen years old at the time and the song would have been climbing the charts. These days, some forty plus years later, I’d have to be drunk and on one of those jobs where you end up playing to just the bartender and I’d have to be paid a lot of money. Otherwise, ain’t no way I’d make a fool of myself that way.

These days I cringe when people ask for those embarrassing, silly, downright stupid songs. If they want to relive their teen years, they’ll have to do it without me. I still have my pride. Which is why, after forty-two years of playing all that sixties stuff since it was brand new, I feel I’ve earned the right to play more sophisticated, dignified songs from more recent times. Songs like “Judy In Disguise.” No wait, that was from the sixties, too. Maybe I’m thinking of “Cheeseburger In Paradise.” Guess not. That’s from the seventies and is a tune on my current list. Let’s see, how about “Mack The Knife?” Nope, that was from 1959 and I’m still playing it when I perform. Hmmm, must be some recent tune that will illustrate my point. What about “Wooly Bully?” I hate to admit that one, but it’s still on my list and still going strong after nearly forty-three years since it first made the charts. What the heck, people still ask for it, and after all I am an admitted musical whore. Put three bucks in my tip jar and I’ll lower my standards for two minutes and twenty-eight seconds. Don’t worry. I won’t even look you in the eye when I accept your tip.

When you get right down to it, when it comes to what I’ll play and what I won’t play, I guess I don’t have as much pride as I thought I did. At least I still don’t dress in those silly polka-dot puffy-sleeve shirts like I did back in the day. However, last week on one of my jobs I wore my Christmas Story Ralphie shirt that says, “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out.” Okay, so maybe I never really grew up when it comes to performing. Back then I wore my hair in a Beatle/Moe Howard haircut, which eventually morphed into a four-inch ponytail. You won’t see that on me these days. Nope, you’ll hardly see any hair at all, for that matter. Couldn’t do the Beatle do if I wanted to.

What’s my point in all this? I guess the point it that no matter how old you get, if you’re a musician and you’re still working, you do what makes you happiest. If it doesn’t make you happy, it should at least put some money in your pocket. That’s why my song list from today consists of about ninety-five percent of tunes that satisfy my musical needs and the other five percent are the songs people ask for that I couldn’t care less about. They’re what feed my tip jar.

Okay, when you get right down to it, if some schmuck dropped a C-note in my tip jar, I guess I’d sing “I’m Henry VIII, I am.” So sue me.

©2007 Bill Bernico for CYBERMIDI.com Downwind Publications